


Heartbreak Coverup

by Kelly_Namikaze



Series: Jason's Trainwreck [2]
Category: Batman - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Hopefulish Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Jay is just a hurt Smol bean, M/M, My boys need to get better at love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 12:49:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12888219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelly_Namikaze/pseuds/Kelly_Namikaze
Summary: It’s just another wasted call full of alcohol,Another night I know that I won’t recall,And it’s never enough, it’s another heartbreak coverup.





	Heartbreak Coverup

_It's just another lonely night_  
_They happen all the time  
Now that you're not around._

Dick hung around the seedy excuse for a bar, swirling around his fourth drink of the night. He didn’t want to think, but it seemed that the alcohol only enhanced all the ways he fucked up. Sighing, he downed the rest of his drink, throwing some bills down, and walked out into the night air.

_Like picking up a loaded gun_  
_Holding the telephone  
And I should put it down._

He looked at his call logs, seeing the many calls that were never answered. The texts stared back at him, as if they were accusing him of some horrible wrong.

It was sad when a text is right.

_Watching you walk away  
Even though I know I never should have let you out of sight_

It had been two weeks since the Red Hood was seen in Gotham, and Jason hadn’t been seen anywhere across the country. Dick had stopped by his safe house a day after his disappearance, only to find some pancakes in the fridge, with a note on them, only saying one word.

Goodbye.

_I play the game even though I go up in flames and I'm burning down tonight._

He thought it was better to keep his distance when they were… having relations, but obviously it wasn’t working.

And now Jason was gone because of him.

_You keep from me, but I'm drowning and slowly sinking in a bottle of patron._

He stumbled home, and once there, found another bottle of whiskey to drown himself in. Jay always hated when people drank.

It’s the one upside to him being gone.

_I can’t let go-oh ooh I can't let go, so_

He knew he should stop thinking about Jay, he obviously didn’t want to see him, but it wasn’t happening, he loved him too much.

Obviously, he didn’t make that clear enough.

_It’s just another wasted call full of alcohol,  
Another night I know that I won’t recall,_

The next morning, he looks at his phone, trying to see if he could put together what he had done last night, always bringing up a blank. All he recalled was alcohol and pain.

_And it's never enough, it's another heartbreak coverup._

If he was honest with himself, he didn’t really want to destroy himself with booze, but the wound was still too fresh to approach the source of his pain.

_It’s there beneath all the shattered, broken pieces I've been trying to let go-oh._

Jay shouldn’t have felt like leaving was the only answer, but he was scared of approaching the idea of an actual relationship. He still had some jagged edges from others, and Jason could just as easily shatter him.

_To keep from me and I'm spinning, I feel like dying, I got one foot on the floor  
I cant let go-oh, ooh I can't let go, so_

The last two weeks had been mostly going through the motions, and he could tell that the others were getting concerned for him. He didn’t smile that often, and when he did, they were forced and fake. Alfred had been giving him disappointed stares since the first time he had come to the manor smelling of booze, so he hadn’t been there very often.

_It’s just another lonely night_  
_They happen all the time  
Now that you're not around._

Jason sat in his motel room, somewhere in New York, and he just wanted to sleep. But every time he did, blue eyes haunted his dreams, and he would rather become an even bigger insomniac than deal with the implications of what that meant.

_Like picking up a loaded gun_  
_Holding the telephone  
And I should put it down._

Every night, he picked up his phone, thinking that he should listen to the voicemails left behind by Grayson.

No, he told himself. It was probably something about how he shouldn’t bother coming back, he wasn’t worth the work.

_Its just another wasted call full of alcohol,_  
_Another night I know that I won’t recall,  
And its never enough, it’s another heartbreak coverup._

And god, Jason had sworn off drinking after seeing what his father had become, but these last few weeks had been testing his patience. He knew it was bad, but the constant pain from Dick, and the fact it hadn’t let up even a little made him want to rip his heart out of his chest.

_Its another heartache, mistake, waiting for the rain after the knife_

He pretended that he wasn’t staying in the same city for a reason, that he was going to leave, but tomorrow. He knew that Dick wasn’t coming, but he held out hope, something that would eventually break him, again.

He didn’t know if he’d recover this time.

_Cause crying won’t be enough to brush the blood after the fighting,_

He shouldn’t have even started the stupid thing in the first place! Even if Dick did love him, which he didn’t, they’d have to deal with the fact that Jason’s tried to kill each of the Bats, Alfred excluded, at least once.

_You see the pain I'm feeling,  
Isn't less, than the moment till I get you mine I'm still standing until I call the fight._

He knew that even if the pain did go away, he would never forget Dick. Unfortunately, forever would be a long time for Jason, a really long time.

_It’s just another lonely night_  
They happen all the time  
Now that you're not around.

That night, there was another call. This time, instead of trying to turn off his phone, he let it go to voicemail. A small beep signifies the start of Dicks voice. Jason refused to admit his heart skipped a beat.

_Like picking up a loaded gun_  
_Holding the telephone  
And I should put it down._

His hands started to shake as he heard the distraught tone on the other end. “Hey, Jay, it’s me, Dick. I know that after these two weeks of ignoring my calls, you probably don’t want anything to do with me, and that’s not without reason. Look, I know I screwed up, and that I didn’t really show how much you mean to me. But Jay, I don’t know how to do a normal relationship right, and I know that’s just an excuse and I-“ He paused, as if trying to find the right words. “Look, this isn’t something I want to say over the phone. Can we meet somewhere? Your choice, I won’t argue.”

_Its just another wasted call full of alcohol,  
Another night I know that I won’t recall,_

“I’ve been doing some really stupid stuff, and I know that you won’t like it, but please, just one hour, that’s all I ask. Afterwards, if you leave, I won’t stop you.”

The line went dead as Dick hung up, and Jason drew in a wet breath. “Alright, one hour, you dick.”

_And it's never enough, it's another heartbreak coverup_


End file.
